Here Comes the Cavalry
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/02/22/national/main2504315.shtml?source=RSSattr=HOME_2504315
Ahhhh. Sometimes, I encounter things that are so ridiculous I think I don't even need to comment on this. Of course, that never lasts.
The Summary: Some guy, living in his mother's apartment, hears a ruckus from his upstairs neighbor. This guy deems the ruckus to be a rape in progress. He grabs his cavalry sword (you read that right, loyal readers, cavalry sword), runs upstairs to his neighbors apartment, kicks in the door and, while holding the neighbor at sword-point, demands to know where the offended woman is. The guy grows irate when the neighbor claims he has no idea what the guy is talking about and then makes the neighbor open every cupboard and closet in the place to prove he's alone. Apparently, after the neighbor has proven this, the guy relaxes a bit allowing the neighbor to call the police. The fuzz shows and arrests the guy for criminal tresspass, criminal destruction of property and disorderly conduct, all with the use of a deadly weapon.
The Riff: Sweet whistlin' Jesus, where do I begin? I suppose first. The suspect, James Van Iveren, is 39 years old...and he's living with his mother. Oh, and he owns a cavalry sword. Are you freakin' kidding me? Is this jackass the king of all dorks, or what? What happened guy? Was all the moaning and groaning interrupting your twelve-hundreth vewing of The Matrix? What in the hell was this guy doing home in the middle of the afternoon, shouldn't you be out looking for a job, sir? Maybe a job in the security guard field? Check it out, maybe they'll even let you bring your sword.
I also have to wonder, what kind of porno was this? As someone who considers themselves at least moderately well versed in the artform we call pornography, I have a hard time with General Custer Jr.'s inability to distinctly identify a "yes" moan. I mean, the guy's 39 years old and lives with his mother, I'm bettin' he ain't no stranger to the genre. So what, I wonder, led sword-boy to believe a woman was being raped in the apartment above his (mother's)? I'm hoping it wasn't something along the lines of, Hey, I recognize that sound, it's the sound of a woman being raped...'cause that's just creepy.
I also have to wonder, at what decibel level was said pornography playing at? Is the upstairs neighbor a little hard of hearing? And what kind of a sound system is he using that a DVD can be mistaken for real life?
Ahhhh. Sometimes, I encounter things that are so ridiculous I think I don't even need to comment on this. Of course, that never lasts.
The Summary: Some guy, living in his mother's apartment, hears a ruckus from his upstairs neighbor. This guy deems the ruckus to be a rape in progress. He grabs his cavalry sword (you read that right, loyal readers, cavalry sword), runs upstairs to his neighbors apartment, kicks in the door and, while holding the neighbor at sword-point, demands to know where the offended woman is. The guy grows irate when the neighbor claims he has no idea what the guy is talking about and then makes the neighbor open every cupboard and closet in the place to prove he's alone. Apparently, after the neighbor has proven this, the guy relaxes a bit allowing the neighbor to call the police. The fuzz shows and arrests the guy for criminal tresspass, criminal destruction of property and disorderly conduct, all with the use of a deadly weapon.
The Riff: Sweet whistlin' Jesus, where do I begin? I suppose first. The suspect, James Van Iveren, is 39 years old...and he's living with his mother. Oh, and he owns a cavalry sword. Are you freakin' kidding me? Is this jackass the king of all dorks, or what? What happened guy? Was all the moaning and groaning interrupting your twelve-hundreth vewing of The Matrix? What in the hell was this guy doing home in the middle of the afternoon, shouldn't you be out looking for a job, sir? Maybe a job in the security guard field? Check it out, maybe they'll even let you bring your sword.
I also have to wonder, what kind of porno was this? As someone who considers themselves at least moderately well versed in the artform we call pornography, I have a hard time with General Custer Jr.'s inability to distinctly identify a "yes" moan. I mean, the guy's 39 years old and lives with his mother, I'm bettin' he ain't no stranger to the genre. So what, I wonder, led sword-boy to believe a woman was being raped in the apartment above his (mother's)? I'm hoping it wasn't something along the lines of, Hey, I recognize that sound, it's the sound of a woman being raped...'cause that's just creepy.
I also have to wonder, at what decibel level was said pornography playing at? Is the upstairs neighbor a little hard of hearing? And what kind of a sound system is he using that a DVD can be mistaken for real life?
posted by Ryan | 12:15 PM
1 Comments:
Well atleast he left his cape in his mom's apartment I am sure that would have went over well at the local jail
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