Pride and Joy(less)

Sunday, June 25, 2006

So this weekend was Pride weekend here in Seattle and some friends of mine, who happen to be lesbians, invited me to their favorite lesbian bar to have some drinks and some laughs. I'll tell you this much, lesbians are depressing. I realize that the stereotype of lesbians leads one to believe that they're all Genny swilling John Goodman look-a-likes, but that just ain't the case. Some of the most beautiful women I've seen here in Seattle I saw at the Wild Rose last night. That's not the depressing part, well it's part of the depressing part, but not all of it. The ultimately depressing part is that, it seems, I have as much chance of hooking up at a lesbian bar as I do of hooking up at a straight bar. Trust me, I tried both, though it's much easier to walk up and talk to a random lesbian. Meeting a woman in a bar means having to convince her, first and foremost, that you're not some crazy pervert who's only trying to talk her up in an attempt at licking her toes, and I've never been a good liar. However, that pressure doesn't exist when speaking to lesbians and they'll talk away and I met some very nice people, one of whom gave me these words of advice: Don't walk up to a lesbian and use the pick-up line, "You know, the only difference between me and you is my dildo is permanantely attached." Apparently they don't find it funny and they hit really hard. I'm just glad I asked her before I used it. They also don't like people staring at them as they make out, but in my defense, it's the first time I've seen that without having to click a mouse.